When we have been hurt by someone, how do we find a level of peace in our hearts? How do we rise to a place to be able to see through our pain to offer forgiveness? To be able to offer forgiveness of them, and of ourselves?

When memories surface of people or situations that bring the sensation of pain, that is a clear indication that we have unresolved emotions within ourselves. True, we could stay in this state of pain body, anger, resentment, and frustration, or we could choose to let go. Easier said than done, I agree, but it is possible… and doable.

How to nip your Pain Body in the you know where.

Pain-body is a where we carry our negative emotions and is a funny thing. It only survives and thrives if we allow it to. If we feed it by continuing to playback past and painful memories, we increase its life force. Without feeding it, it begins to become weak and eventually dies. Why do we engage in something that causes us pain? Good question!! Because sometimes, we forget that we simply need to, and can, let it go.


When something reminds us of a painful memory, and our habits have been to follow it in, swim in the pain for a bit, feel sorry for ourselves, rebuild anger and resentment, become reckless with self-sabotaging behaviors, and basically have the joy sucked from our lives, simply choose to think about something else! This situation presents itself because we are ready to move through it! Take this as an opportunity for immense growth. When we shed light into the darkness of the pain body, it dissolves it. Pain-body will appear throughout life. It is up to us how much we allow it stay in our experience, as we have control of our thoughts. Let me repeat that – WE have control over our thoughts. We are powerful and infinite beings with unlimited potential. We are strong! We are empowered! It is time we remember that and act that way! (said with love, of course!)

Another very effective means of finding forgiveness is to not take things personally. Many times, people will have different agendas than us. If they are following their true north and their guidance system, who are we to get in the way of their path because we think they should do something differently? They are most times, simply making the best decisions they can for themselves. We need to learn to trust in others abilities to do their own work. If something is truly in their highest good, it should carry a benevolent outcome for all involved, and will not cause undue pain. Now, I will point out here that some people will use their spirituality as an excuse to justify their actions. So watch out for those people who are still trying to find their way. And offer them forgiveness anyway because they are a work in progress. Aren’t we all?

When to choose differently

So, you may be wondering now, what to do if you are in a place where you continue to need to forgive someone who does not seem to be making any lasting changes. If you find yourself in a relationship where you are being abused, wronged, disrespected, and/or dishonored, then it is time to make some different choices on your path. This is a time when finding forgiveness of self matters most. This one can be tricky at times but will give you by far the greatest satisfaction of all.

By removing yourself from situations that are not in your highest good, you open yourself up to limitless possibilities for things that are. In this process of moving out of Karma and into Dharma, you signal to the universe that you are ready to take greater care of yourself. The universe will respond in kind. Amazing and miraculous occurrences will begin to happen in your life, beautiful synchronicities will show up all around you, and you may even feel like you are being carried by a force much greater than you could imagine. There is no denying the miracle of this when you move into a space of improved self-care.

At this point, you have another choice. You can beat yourself up for being in, or staying in, a situation that was not pleasant, or you can congratulate yourself for finding the courage to move out of it. Everything is a choice. Be gentle with yourselves!

We are only human after all, and what a beautiful thing!!

We tend to forget our “humanness” at times. We are meant to be here, learning, growing, and evolving through situations that may have been unpleasant, but have most likely taught us great insights about ourselves. The trick is to listen to our guidance as to when the lesson has been learned and when that contract is complete. Sometimes, the contract completes by removing ourselves from the situation. The lesson we learned from that one is to establish better boundaries and to care more deeply for ourselves.

Remembering why we are here…

We are all stepping into a time of extreme self-realization. It is time to take our power back and live the life WE choose to. The more deeply we tune into ourselves, the more we feel what feels right for us alone. We want the ability to follow what feels right for us and it is important that we allow others to do the same. We are moving out of a follow-the-herd mentality and finding comfort in each expression that is unique to us. Embrace that!!! It is a beautiful time that we live in to be able to be pioneers of this movement into individuality!

Lastly, remember the true nature of walking here on this planet is for soul evolution. It is not to accumulate things. When we refocus on the intent of being here, now, during this time, we can find life to be exhilarating, miraculous and awe-inspiring! It is your choice. How do you choose to see it?

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